Best Friends, Old Friends

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."-- Anonymous

I've wanted to write about this topic for a long time now, but I've never felt like I've had the proper venue to do it justice. This is a good place to write about it.

Ever wonder how someone you have known for most of your life can just, sort of, drift away from you? I have.

I moved to Utah on my 10th birthday, 17 NOV 90. The exact day. It wasn't the best birthday present I could think of, especially since it meant I would be leaving my child hood best friends, Kevin, Jack, and Tyler, who was also my cousin. My family moved into a house up on Center Street in Springville. I struggled with going to church for a while because a lot of the boys in the ward were complete jerks to me. Then I met a younger boy named Shane. I was introduced to Shane because he had a super Nintendo and I liked to play video games. While I admit that wasn't a very noble reason to want to hang out with Shane, it was the catalyst that led to a long and lasting friendship, for a while.

Our friendship grew into more than just playing video games, or did it? I hope it did. We both had a passion for them, which kept us playing them a lot. We definitely enjoyed playing outdoors, going on hikes on the mountains behind his house, playing night games up in the Schriever's Col-de-sac, playing sports, drawing, playing chess, talking, and having sleep overs. Later on in life we enjoyed DnD, Warhammer (Shane mainly liked to paint the figures), more video games, movies, magic, going out on the town with the guys and all other sorts of adventures.

For a while it was mainly just me and Shane, with a few other friends scattered here and there. But, Shane and I were best friends. Then a most unusual and wonderful thing happened. When I was about 16 a new family moved into the ward, the
Phelans. They were from Georgia and they had the accent to prove it. I don't know how much Dan and Ben noticed, but the boys in the ward gave them the same "warm" greeting they gave me when I moved in, and I was included among them. This is something I am not proud of, but have since resolved with Dan and Ben. We were pretty brutal to them verbally. Then, one day Shane and I were up in col-de-sac and for some reason that I can't remember we wandered up the driveway to the garage of the Phelan's house where we found Dan, Ben, Kyle and Jeremy playing Warhammer 40K. I felt some mixed emotions at the time; this was because the game they were playing seemed so cool, but I was afraid that it was DnD. My mom had told me never to play DnD because she thought it was the devil's game. We all know how DnD and me turned out. We all gave introductions and from there it was just magical. We all started to hang out, and we found out we all liked video games and fantasy. That's when my inner circle of close friends started to grow.

Through out High School, the mission and most of college we all stayed fairly close if not the best of friends. I hesitate writing this down, or qualifying my relationships with anyone, although I doubt many will read this, but at that point in my life the Land Sharks were my closest and best friends. I had other friends, just like anyone else; in fact I had some other really close friends in high school, but none like the Land Sharks (Shane, Dan, Ben, Kyle, Jeremy, and Me).

When I got back from my mission and started college Shane was still on his mission. He came back, and things were...different. It wasn't a drastic change or this gigantic difference, but I could feel it. I suspect it was a combination of things. It seemed like Shane started to be less interested in the things we used to share so much in common. He was also hanging out with another crowd of friends. I moved to Provo and Dan and Ben moved in with me at the Tree, and later Shane decided to move to The Rain Tree with those whom I like to call, Popped Collar Boys. When Shane did that, I knew things were on a fast and steady decline between us. I didn't hang out with Shane much during the last two years of college. We were both to blame for that, I think. I never really called him much, and he didn't call me either. When we did hang out, it was kind of awkward. Then, on during one of the last times we hung out, we were eating ice cream at the creamery on 9th and one of his popped collar friends called, and I over heard Shane say he was hanging out with an "old friend." It was at that moment that felt the last proverbial nail slam into the proverbial coffin of our "best friendship." I had been placed in the "old friend" category.

I have often wondered what happened between us. I knew Shane since I was 10 and I'm 26 now. That's 16 years! I wonder if I said things that offended him, or if we just grew apart, or if our friendship was ever really that strong in the first place. Sometimes, I look at my phone and I think, "I should call Shane." Then I always chicken out of it, because what would I say? Hey Shane, I know we haven't talked forever, but hey, what's new? I don't know, I just feel like it would be weird and that he's moved on.

At the same time, I want to mention 2 of the most influential people in my life. Two guys that I would gladly take a bullet for. Two guys who I can tell anything to, and that make me laugh that I can feel my honest self around. Two guys that I am honored to call my best friends, for 10 years now, and am looking forward to another infinity years with, Dan and Ben Phelan.
I just wanted to let you guys know you're awesome, and I love you in that brotherly non-homosexual way.

I want to end with an open letter to Shane.

Dear Shane,

I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed our friendship. I will always remember you and the good times we had. Thanks for being so quick to being friends with the new boy in town. Thanks for all the sleepovers we had and all the video games we beat. Thanks for being my confidant and semi-brother. I apologize if I ever offended you and have yet to clear it up. I wish nothing but the best for you in life and hope that you will always consider me your friend. I'm sorry we didn't stay closer.

Sincerely,
Your friend Richard G Hart II