Work Sucks Sometimes

I work for the Air Force. In fact, I'm an officer, a 2 Lt if you will. I work in personnel, or administrative stuff. I have two coworkers. One is about 40 and has had 4 kids and is pregnant again, from 3 fathers, and has only been married once. The other is 22, and is pretty cool. When I first got to Edwards AFB life at work was simple. I didn't do much, and not much was expected of me. 6 and a half months later I'm in a position where if I make a mistake, I have to be reprimanded by the general. Oh boy! =/. Let's just say, I'm not excited about the idea of fully taking over this office. The more seasoned Sgt is supposed to be training me. She has, every now and then, if you can call what she does training...This Sgt started out really cool. She used to talk wit me, and joke with me. She even helped me start my car one morning when the battery had died. Now, she doesn't even acknowledge me at times. It's like I'm a burden to her. I have no idea what I have done to offend her. About a month ago is when she started being this way. Today I was so down I was questioning whether or not I should even be in the Air Force. I like being a part of the Air Force, I just don't like the situation I'm in. I'm just glad I don't have to be in this situation forever. There must be some higher purpose for these trials. I'll tell you what though. Some days I just want to tell her to shut up and quit being such a biatch. Do you think that would go over well?

Dear TSgt Aragon,

You have been making work really difficult for me this last month. I don't know what I did to offend you, but please stop being so catty and mean. I hate coming to work, and I leave with a sick stomach feeling every day. If there is anything I can do to help the situation, please let me know. I just want to have a work environment that's productive and promotes team work, instead of tearing each other down. Also, please train me. I don't think you are doing a very good job. Telling someone they should do this or that, and to remember this or that is not training. It's a half baked job at best. You need to show me, and tell me, and let me practice, and then check my work, and then show me again if I forget after the first time, cuz I'm not superhuman. Also, I'd kill myself if I were your new husband. Holy F, that man must have some screws loose.

Sincerely,
Lt Hart

Richard's really rad residence

I wanted to post this on Facebook, but I felt like I was going to be dropping my pearl in front of swine, so to speak. But I hope you all like it. Plus, it's kinda weird.

Have you ever planned a dream house growing up? Guess what my answer to that question is, yes! So, I was thinking about what my dream house would be like, barring any rules or regulations. This is what I came up with.

First, I'd own a huge property, like some thing the size of Utah Valley. And it would have giant fields of grass and some forests. Also, there would be mountains. So, I guess kinda like a valley. Whatev. I think I would have a stream and a lake too.

Then, I'd have a sweet castle with modern stuff, lighting, electricity, plumbing, running water, and all that jazz. Inside, I'd have several different motifs. But, mainly it would say, castle. One of the most important features would be a little dirt path that leads a ways off from the castle to an authentically built and styled dojo. It would be my place of training, you know, for a fight or maybe a challenge. I'd hire professionals from all my favorite styles, Taekwondo, Aikido, Brazilian jui-jitsu, Kung Fu, Kick Boxing, Kendo, and ninjitsu. These pros, as I like to call them, would all have living quarters in my castle so they could stay close by, but they would also have company cars, like corvettes, porches, and Honda Accord Hybrids to travel home at night if they wanted. Another important feature of my mansion would be the dining facilities. Basically, I'd have a team of chefs that kicked so much butt, that I'd have to be turning down presidents of countries for dinner parties, because so many would want to eat here. It would be just me and my posse.


Also, let's just say I wanted a big mac or the "college special", I'd have my own crack team of commandos comprised of Navy SEALs, Green Berets (by they way, they refer to themselves simply as "special forces"), Air force PJs, Marine scout snipers, and Delta Force operators, who'd load up in a helicopter and take off and very casually buy me my big mac and bring it back. It would be nice. As for security, I'd most likely have a team of FBI agents and CIA, and Secret Service peeps, who were dressed up as gardeners, and butlers, and cooks, and all the regular types you find in castles these days. An important note would be that they actually have the skills they are dressed up to be, because I'd need those services done.



I think one of the capstone rooms of my castle would be the game room. This would be a room so cool and decorated, that King Kong and Alice from Alice and wonderland would get married, just to show how cool this room is.

When you came to the door for the room it would be a big double door made of sold Diamond. Then, when you walked in, there would be several tables set up for warhammer, 40k, DnD, magic, and WoW and any other game that would be cool. Plus, there would be an Xbox 360 with guitar hero so we could really wail hard. i would also have a wii hooked up to a flat screen TV that was as big as one wall. That would be awesome. A great thing about this room, is it connections. It's right next to a bathroom, it's next to the snack bar, and the butler would come and see if we needed food and drink. We'd all say, "YES!!! WE NEED FOOD AND DRINK MY GOOD MAN!!!" and we'd all have a gregarious laugh, even the butler. Another cool thing would be that, the entire games workshop staff and painters would work and play there, and beta test all their ideas on us, and ask us for ideas. They'd also live in quarters if they wanted, but they wouldn't have to. In this way, there would always be someone to play a pick up game of 40k.




On the 8 story of the castle in one of the turrets there would be an armory (armory # 1) full of weapons and sniper rifles so we could practice the trade. See, a ways off there would be a bunch of targets like melons, and cans of soup to shoot at. Only, to get there, you'd have to rock climb the wall all the way to the top, but it's cool bro, cuz it would be one of those practice rock climbing walls. And, if you just got plain lazy, there would be a new rope and chandelier to use to get to the top every day. To come down, you just repel, or use the giant fire pole.









I'd have a personal room for all of you too. On a really professional looking plaque next to the door it would say, Ben's room, or Dan's and Rachel's Room, or Shebby's room, or Zachary's room, you get the picture. These rooms would be there in case you didn't want to go home after a night of DnD or a party. In fact, my castle would be situated so that it would be right next to Ben's grad school, and Dan's teaching job, and whatever base I was at. And, if you really needed to get to work fast, my personal fleet of pilots would fly you there in a SR-71 blackbird. It would be nice.





Oh, and like, the congressional library or whatever, would be re-situated to my own library, so it would be a pretty kick butt library, and we would get copies off all the new books, first. Plus, there would be motorcycles and 4 wheelers galore.





These are just some of the things off the top of my head. Keep in mind, I really don't know why I just wrote this lol. But, I think it's because I'd really like a sweet game room someday, or maybe to own a game store when I retire, or a Barnes and Nobles, or maybe a dojo.

*Sigh* Times are tough

"Men wish to be saved from the mischiefs of their vices, but not from their vices." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Often times I feel exactly like the afore mentioned quote. It's been over 2 years since I met Allie and started dating her, and a year and a half since we broke up. Yet, I am still feeling the effects of our poisonous relationship. Many who knew me before I started dating Allie know I was a different person then. I was vibrant, alive, happier, more innocent. Today...well, today I am happier than I was when I was with Allie, but that's not saying much. I'm just bleh. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a crazy, suicidal, depressed emo. I'm just not as happy and fulfilled as I want to be.

I keep on a metaphorical mask to hide my feelings as best I can from the outside world. I liken myself unto the Japanese Noh actors of old. My mask are many. I do this so I don't spread my negative feelings and aura. Although, I've never really been all that good at hiding my emotions.

I suspect I am not surprising some with what I'm writing, others, I'm sorry if you don't understand.

“Our faith comes in moments; our vice is habitual” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I use to think I had faith, that I was faithful. Now days I wonder. I know where I want to be in life, spiritually, yet, for some reason I refuse to get there with my actions.

“Vices are often habits rather than passions” -Antoine Rivarol quotes

I think this is true in the long run, but personally, my passions kicked things off on the wrong foot.

Some have told me that I have learned valuable lessons from my experiences with Allie. This may be true, however, I think I could have learned the same lessons with less repercussions. I know I can't change the past, I am who I am now. I long for the days when I can feel the burden lifted. Some times I hate myself, and the situation I put myself in. I just needed to say this and update those who know. Sadly, I'm no better off than I was when I was dating Allie. I can only pray that I get my act together soon, I'd hate to die in this state.

An open letter to Allie:

Dear Allie,

I can't believe it's been this long since we dated. I can't believe I stayed with you so long! What the hell was I thinking?! I don't hate you, but I am upset with how our relationship went. I'm not sorry one bit that I broke up with you. I am sorry that you didn't get the counseling that I received. I hope your leaders didn't err. I hope the guy you married is patient, and boring. Because he's gonna need those qualities to get along with you and your damn family. I hope you learn to stick up for yourself against your family, those boring, manipulating, condescending people. I hope your husband earns enough, so you aren't tempted to leave him for wealth. In the end, I hope you learn from our relationship and change for the better and that you make it to the Celestial Kingdom. I'm hoping to be there too, by then, if I make it, I won't be as upset about all this and maybe we'll get a good laugh at all this, or maybe we won't. Have a good life Allie...

Truthfully,
Richard G. Hart II

Best Friends, Old Friends

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."-- Anonymous

I've wanted to write about this topic for a long time now, but I've never felt like I've had the proper venue to do it justice. This is a good place to write about it.

Ever wonder how someone you have known for most of your life can just, sort of, drift away from you? I have.

I moved to Utah on my 10th birthday, 17 NOV 90. The exact day. It wasn't the best birthday present I could think of, especially since it meant I would be leaving my child hood best friends, Kevin, Jack, and Tyler, who was also my cousin. My family moved into a house up on Center Street in Springville. I struggled with going to church for a while because a lot of the boys in the ward were complete jerks to me. Then I met a younger boy named Shane. I was introduced to Shane because he had a super Nintendo and I liked to play video games. While I admit that wasn't a very noble reason to want to hang out with Shane, it was the catalyst that led to a long and lasting friendship, for a while.

Our friendship grew into more than just playing video games, or did it? I hope it did. We both had a passion for them, which kept us playing them a lot. We definitely enjoyed playing outdoors, going on hikes on the mountains behind his house, playing night games up in the Schriever's Col-de-sac, playing sports, drawing, playing chess, talking, and having sleep overs. Later on in life we enjoyed DnD, Warhammer (Shane mainly liked to paint the figures), more video games, movies, magic, going out on the town with the guys and all other sorts of adventures.

For a while it was mainly just me and Shane, with a few other friends scattered here and there. But, Shane and I were best friends. Then a most unusual and wonderful thing happened. When I was about 16 a new family moved into the ward, the
Phelans. They were from Georgia and they had the accent to prove it. I don't know how much Dan and Ben noticed, but the boys in the ward gave them the same "warm" greeting they gave me when I moved in, and I was included among them. This is something I am not proud of, but have since resolved with Dan and Ben. We were pretty brutal to them verbally. Then, one day Shane and I were up in col-de-sac and for some reason that I can't remember we wandered up the driveway to the garage of the Phelan's house where we found Dan, Ben, Kyle and Jeremy playing Warhammer 40K. I felt some mixed emotions at the time; this was because the game they were playing seemed so cool, but I was afraid that it was DnD. My mom had told me never to play DnD because she thought it was the devil's game. We all know how DnD and me turned out. We all gave introductions and from there it was just magical. We all started to hang out, and we found out we all liked video games and fantasy. That's when my inner circle of close friends started to grow.

Through out High School, the mission and most of college we all stayed fairly close if not the best of friends. I hesitate writing this down, or qualifying my relationships with anyone, although I doubt many will read this, but at that point in my life the Land Sharks were my closest and best friends. I had other friends, just like anyone else; in fact I had some other really close friends in high school, but none like the Land Sharks (Shane, Dan, Ben, Kyle, Jeremy, and Me).

When I got back from my mission and started college Shane was still on his mission. He came back, and things were...different. It wasn't a drastic change or this gigantic difference, but I could feel it. I suspect it was a combination of things. It seemed like Shane started to be less interested in the things we used to share so much in common. He was also hanging out with another crowd of friends. I moved to Provo and Dan and Ben moved in with me at the Tree, and later Shane decided to move to The Rain Tree with those whom I like to call, Popped Collar Boys. When Shane did that, I knew things were on a fast and steady decline between us. I didn't hang out with Shane much during the last two years of college. We were both to blame for that, I think. I never really called him much, and he didn't call me either. When we did hang out, it was kind of awkward. Then, on during one of the last times we hung out, we were eating ice cream at the creamery on 9th and one of his popped collar friends called, and I over heard Shane say he was hanging out with an "old friend." It was at that moment that felt the last proverbial nail slam into the proverbial coffin of our "best friendship." I had been placed in the "old friend" category.

I have often wondered what happened between us. I knew Shane since I was 10 and I'm 26 now. That's 16 years! I wonder if I said things that offended him, or if we just grew apart, or if our friendship was ever really that strong in the first place. Sometimes, I look at my phone and I think, "I should call Shane." Then I always chicken out of it, because what would I say? Hey Shane, I know we haven't talked forever, but hey, what's new? I don't know, I just feel like it would be weird and that he's moved on.

At the same time, I want to mention 2 of the most influential people in my life. Two guys that I would gladly take a bullet for. Two guys who I can tell anything to, and that make me laugh that I can feel my honest self around. Two guys that I am honored to call my best friends, for 10 years now, and am looking forward to another infinity years with, Dan and Ben Phelan.
I just wanted to let you guys know you're awesome, and I love you in that brotherly non-homosexual way.

I want to end with an open letter to Shane.

Dear Shane,

I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed our friendship. I will always remember you and the good times we had. Thanks for being so quick to being friends with the new boy in town. Thanks for all the sleepovers we had and all the video games we beat. Thanks for being my confidant and semi-brother. I apologize if I ever offended you and have yet to clear it up. I wish nothing but the best for you in life and hope that you will always consider me your friend. I'm sorry we didn't stay closer.

Sincerely,
Your friend Richard G Hart II

The Beginning

I've heard that every journey begins with the first step. Every blog also begins with the first post. I have always enjoyed reading Garden of Bricks, and now recently Tales of a Librarian. Both of these blogs have inspired me to start this new blog. Although I am a humble writer, and often struggle to get my ideas across clearly and orderly I intend this blog to be more personal and with less readers than my other blogs, not that I have any readers to speak of lol. I can't promise you that I understand the concept of postmodernism, can I even call it that?, or that will ever truly write a blog that is indeed postmodern in nature, however, I really like the name of my blog. So, I intend to keep it. So, with out further adieu, I give you Postmodern Pete's Playground!